Jessica Biel Getting Sexy for G.Q.

Jessica Biel put on a bikini for the latest issue of GQ, and in her interview talks about what it’s like being named Esquire magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive in 2005. She says:

“At first I felt really embarrassed about it. You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, ‘Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that. But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: ‘You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, ‘That’s what Granny used to look like.’ ”

And I don’t want to alarm anybody, but looking at these pictures may or may not cause your penis to explode. And you know those pictures of me posing sexily in my basement? I wouldn’t recommend looking at those either, unless your fond of spontaneously catching on fire.

Evangeline Lilly “What’s With Flippin’ the Bird these Days”

 

Evangeline Lilly, who plays Kate on Lost, was spotted at Vancouver Airport giving the finger to the paparazzi. Although for some reason it’s way less annoying than when Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne do it. Probably because she’s so adorable. It’s like a puppy trying to bite you with its tiny little mouth. You just want to shake you head side to side and go, “Who’s a little princess? You are! You are!”

Julia Roberts gives birth to “The World’s Largest Baby Smile”

Julia Roberts  gave birth to a baby boy today at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She named this one Henry, who now joins his brother and sister, 2-year-old twins Phinnaeus and Hazel. Although judging by these pictures I was expecting her to give birth to a full grown adult bison.

Britney Spears Pulls The Old Switch A’ Roo

Britney Spears was spotted at Club Winston last Friday and ended up switching clothes with her girlfriend midway through the night. Because that’s the kind of shit you have to deal with when your Britney Spears’ friend. She’s just lucky Britney wasn’t wearing a clown outfit. Because it’s not like you can say no to her. She’d stomp her feet and cry until you said yes. Or at least until you pulled out a shiny object for her to play with. She’d clap her hands excitedly and go, “Oooooh”

Brittany Spears Flips the Bird

Brittany Spears was spotted at a Beverly Hills nails salon getting a French manicure. And as she left, she gave the paparazzi a taste of her ladylike manners. I’d suggest she and Avril Lavigne have a contest to see who’s the most ladylike, but I don’t think the world could handle that much concentrated femininity. Gay people would walk in the room and instantly turn straight.

Nicole Richie is preggerz

Rumors have been circling that Nicole Richie is pregnant with Joel Madden’s baby, but she’s been dodging the question in interviews. However, a good friend of hers says she’s definitely pregnant and is hoping it’ll keep her out of jail. She tells Page 6:

“Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail,” the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and “wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues.”

I can’t figure out what’s more horrifying, that people are actually having sex with Nicole Richie or that she’s carrying a baby in that tiny little body of hers. There’s no way she’s going to be able to carry this child to term. She can barely eat enough to keep herself alive. And can you imagine her trying to raise a child? An erupting volcano would make a better parent.

Victoria Beckham launchs dVb, her denim line

 

Victoria Beckham celebrated the launch of her dVb denim line yesterday at Saks Fifth Avenue in New York. Although I find it difficult to believe women actually want to look like her. Yeah, she’s skinny, but she barely looks human anymore. I could put together a more natural looking person with some brooms and some tape.

Lindsay Lohan checks out of Rehab

Lindsay Lohan might be leaving the Promises rehab facility soon. A source tells

“She’s scheduled to be out of rehab by next week. She’s taken rehab very seriously. She has cut a lot of negative influences in her life. She and [mom] Dina speak every day.”

She checked in May 28th and was supposed to do a 30 day program, so if she gets out by next week it means she’ll have left the program early. And if there’s one thing Lindsay doesn’t need, it’s to get out of rehab early. You wouldn’t set Hannibal Lecter free just because “he hasn’t eaten anybody in over a week.” I know it’s not like prison and she can leave whenever she wants, but if she’s really taking this seriously she should complete the program. Otherwise I’ll save myself some time and start writing future headlines now: “Lindsay Lohan arrested after driving her car through an office building.”

And here’s Lindsay taking a break from rehab to go workout at a Malibu gym.

Britney Spears’ butt flash

Here’s a little something for you guys. This happened the same night as the nip slip.

See those photos here, and here

Click here to view more Britney Spears Butt flashes, nip slips and more!

Britney Spears nip slip (update, more photos!)

 

You might have read the original story we posted about Britney Spears’ nip slip, but we’ve got an update with more photos, and more skin too!

Britney Spears is just “figuring things out.”

 

Britney Spears’ mother said to reports that she’s just “figuring things out.” and only doing things that each and everyone one of “us” has done. Who are we, and when did we do this? I’ve never had eleven babies, or randomly grown my hair out to my lower back and shaved it smooth. If that’s figuring things out then I’d hate to see what happens when she’s confused, or God forbid angry. In fact, there’s several countries in this world that kill you if you have to figure things out that way. I would love to see her move to India or something, and explain to them why she’s shaving their cattle. “I’m just confused. I just can’t figure things out.” — smack. Let me know when she’s figured things out Mom.

Lynne Spears says her daughter Britney, whose public meltdown included shearing off her own locks, is “just figuring things out.”

“It’s sad that the whole world had to watch her make mistakes that all of us have made at one time or another,” Spears is quoted as telling Us Weekly magazine in its latest issue.

Carmen Electra falls on stage

I just thought it was hilarious, don’t ask me why. Good thing that second girl came out and helped, otherwise I don’t know what Carmen would have done.

Lindsay Lohan — dominatrix or just “lesbian”? (photos to prove it.)

Wow. Photos of Lindsay Lohan and a “female friend” apparently playing with knives while intoxicated leaked to the internet June 6th. I don’t know what’s going on, but I like it.

Tell me, dominatrix, or lesbian?

She better not stab herself, then what would we write about?

Enjoy.

Britney Spears wants YOU…to name her new album.

 

On her official site, Britney Spears is asking fans to vote on a new album title. She writes:

“You’ll Never See it My Way, Because You’re Not Me”

Britney is asking her most die-hard fans for some assistance in order to name her upcoming album.

Possible Album Titles:

1. OMG is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like
2. What if hte Joke is on You
3. Down boy
4. Integrity
5. Dignity

I’m pretty sure they’re all joke titles, which makes it funny that she lumped ‘Integrity’ and ‘Dignity’ in with ‘OMG is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like.’ I mean, yeah, they’re equally laughable to associate with Britney Spears but I didn’t think she knew that. And she left off “I Heart Cheetos” because, well, I guess you can’t put the actual album title up with a bunch of joke ones.

Paris Hilton’s back in prison

 

Paris Hilton was transferred out of the medical ward of the Twin Towers Correctional Facility late last night and back to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood where she started her sentence more than a week ago. She was undergoing medical and psychiatric testing to determine where she should be held and I guess they went with the Lynwood facility. Although I was kind of hoping they would’ve gone with a zoo. Or maybe a rocket ship aimed directly at the sun.

So many new entries in the Top 10 of the U.S. album chart this week – six total!

The race for #1 was very close.

T-Pain’‘e Epiphany took the top spot – with 171,126 copies sold – followed closely by Rihanna‘s Good Girl Gone Bad at #2 with 162,803.

Sir Paul McCartney is still making records, and they’re still doing well. His new one, Memory Almost Full, sold 160,541 – coming it at #3.

Last week’s #1, R. Kelly‘s Double Up, slips to #4 with 120,516 and last week’s #2, Maroon 5‘s It Won’t Be Soon Before Long, drops to #5 with 112, 131.

Debuting at the sixth spot is country duo Big & Rich, whose record Between Raising Hell & Amazing, moved 102,927 units.

Linkin Park takes a dip this week, moving from #3 to #7 with 95,573 copies sold of their latest, Minutes To Midnight.

After a long absence on the charts, Marilyn Manson has a rather tepid debut, coming in at #8 with 87,531 albums out the gate of his new release, Eat Me Drink Me.

Making an impressive showing on the big chart, Latin act Daddy Yankee saw his latest record, El Cartel: The Big Boss land on the #9 spot on the album chart its first week out with 81,768 units sold. He tops the Latin chart as well.

And, rounding out the Top 10 with s Miz 66,591 copies, Amy Winehouse‘s Back To Black continues to exceed expectations. Her album’s already gone Gold in America and has sold 560,151 units – with no end in sight as buzz and word of mouth continues to build for the Brit.

Very exciting!

A smile in every aisle of Britney Spears

You know how rich people buy really nice expensive clothes and then look really good in their really nice expensive clothes? Well none of that applies to Brittany Spears, because she always looks like she just fished something out of the Wal-Mart bargain bin. I like how she chooses to dress like this, but then obsessively pulls her shirt down to cover up her belly. And you know what else I like? Baby pandas. And ice cream. Put those two together and you’ve got yourselves a party.

Shar Jackson is knocked up With Kevin Federline’s kid

Shar Jackson is reportedly seven weeks pregnant with another of Kevin Federline children. She got a positive result from a home pregnancy test and then confirmed it with a visit to her gynecologist a few days later. A good friend of hers tells Star:

“Shar wants to tell Kevin, but she keeps getting cold feet! She’s really scared of what he’ll say – if he’ll be excited or furious. She said, ‘What if he doesn’t want another kid?’ After all with her two, and Brit’s two, he’s got his hands full already! It would be Shar’s dream for them to get married and have another baby. She’d love to be living the family life with Kevin.”

Wow. Really? I mean really? I can’t figure out who’s dumber, Kevin Federline for being Kevin Federline or Shar Jackson for letting him get her pregnant three times. After having two of his kids you’d think she would’ve already learned her lesson. And by learned her lesson I mean killed herself. How do you have K-Fed’s penis inside of you and go on living?

UPDATE: Shar Jackson is denying the story and tells Us, “It is not even remotely true.”

Britney Spears, Hot Momma?

Britney Spears was spotted in a yellow bikini carrying Jayden James over the weekend. And I’m tempted to say she almost looks good here. But I won’t, because that would go against everything I believe in. Actually, eating peas would go against everything I believe in. Why eat peas when you can eat candy? That’s what I always say.

Paris Hilton got Sliced

It’s unclear why, but Paris reportedly saw plastic surgeon, Dr. Steven Hoefflin, last Friday while she was on house arrest. A source says he’s sort of the Hilton family’s private doctor, and consults family members on medical issues including, but not limited to, cosmetic issues.

This guy used to be Michael Jackson’s former plastic surgeon and has also done work on Sylvester Stallone, Joan Rivers, and Janet Jackson. So really, he’s less of a doctor, and more of a guy with a scalpel who has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. You’d get about the same quality of work from a blender.